Hope, Christmas, Reality

Hope. Hope despite what you know is real...that kind of hope can kill you I think. I wonder if it really lifts you up or if it might also have the ability to suffocate you?

You know when you were younger around Christmas time –and you knew you parents didn’t have much money. You knew you wouldn’t get what you dreamed of, you wouldn’t get the popular toy, the “in” thing of the year. Most of the things you want you dare not even ask for because you don’t want your parents to feel bad. And it’s Christmas eve and you lay in your bed. You know tomorrow you won’t really get what you want, because you know the reality is that they just can’t afford it. And you’re ok with it. You know that isn’t the most important thing. You don't even care about what you get... You know reality. But still, when you close your eyes, you can’t help but dream, and in dreaming...hope.

Its Christmas morning now. You open your presents, genuinely happy and surprised. You play. You’re thankful. But when your done, when the last wrapping is thrown away...you still hope. Is there another hidden present? No. and you can’t help –even though you know it’s silly- let down. Because no matter what the reality, you couldn’t let go of that hope, if held on and now it’s crushed. Now you’re disappointed that your dreams didn’t magically appear. You knew reality, but hopes and dreams clung to you and delivered disappointment.

It’s a beautiful thing that hopes and dreams (even of toys) can stay alive despite the reality that suffocates them. Sometimes that’s all that keeps us going, dreaming of what we know can’t or won’t ever happen. But often it feels so sad, to know reality...and yet hope for such much...just knowing Christmas morning will come and prove the hopes and dreams wrong. How do you let go of such hope that follows you into your dreams?